sorry i dragged you into the mess
into the mess i created
and when you return back to the people you love
you are dirty
with my dirt clinging to your clothes like leeches
i’m sorry for suffocating you
spoonfeeding you with my stories
of heartaches and stomachaches and headaches
i’m a suffocator who chokes
until you yourself force yourself to swallow the words i say
and become like me
i’m sorry if i made your heart empty
you might be wallowing in the depths of your sadness right now
but don’t worry, I am too
we think the same because of me
we say the same because of me
i smothered you too much.
you’re not the person you once were.
i stuck my dirt on you.
sorry that we’re on the same boat.
you don’t deserve this
you only wanted to help
and I think I pulled you in
i’m too much of a monster
for victimizing people with my own problems
the villain but not the type who kills and spills blood
but accidentally kills old selves and replaces them with a replica
a replica of a limp body, optimism in a coma, incapable of feeling
and drowns them in the same sea as I am
just so that I could see other people drowning with me
and I would be comforted
because I’m not alone